The Day Camp Incident: Strike 3
Hearing your child’s voice quivering over the phone trying not to cry is the worst.
August 4, 2016 | 1:00-ish PM
The basketball court and path swallowed by bushes: This photo was taken at the location Ash and I were standing when he was told to follow the path to catch up with the rest of the campers.
Red-flag: Transitive verb: to identify or draw attention to (a problem or issue to be dealt with); noun: a warning signal or sign; something that indicates or draws attention to a problem, danger, or irregularity
Sunday night Ash tells me that he doesn't want to go to camp. This is a red flag… more like RED FLAG! Every camp he has experienced has always been met with annoyance that I am picking him up to leave camp for the day. He will beg, bargain, plead to stay longer. But not this Parks and Recs camp.
The Phone Call
A line of children of various ages came running out of the recreation building to catch up with their camp leaders who were already on a path around the basketball court which led into a cluster of thick bushes. As we approached the recreation door, the Camp Facilitator cheerfully greeted us and we did the same. "Good morning Ash! If you wanna go on a walk you'll need to hurry up and catch up with them." She pointed in the direction of basketball court.
Ash and I go inside so I could sign him in and he could put his backpack along the wall. He ran outside past the Camp Facilitator who reminded him that, "You can either play outside or inside. If you wanna go on the walk you have to run up the path and catch them."
Ash saw a group of kids and gleefully yelled that he wanted to play outside. I noticed that this group was wearing shirts from a day camp he attended earlier in the summer and was not associated with this current day camp. Ash was about to run off to join them, but I grabbed his shoulder and told him to wait.
I looked over towards the path and I saw a kid or maybe an adult in a red jacket running on the path that led into the cluster of thick bushes. I had zero visual beyond the bushes and couldn’t see or hear the voices of any kids or Camp Leaders. In my head I'm thinking, "Is she telling me that she's gonna let my son run up some non-descript path which has ZERO visibility from here, past some person that might be a kid or an adult in a red jacket, to catch a group of kids walking along some path completely unsupervised?”
I turned around to ask the Camp Facilitator if that group was part of their Parks & Recs program, but she was already inside and had left the door ajar. Ash and I were outside and there wasn't any official Camp Instructors around. We walked into the building and watched him walk over to the Lego table. I explained that he needed to stay inside and play with Legos. He was happy with that decision and then I left.
I was on FIRE with rage. I could feel the fire in my face. If I had dropped off Ash and left while he was still outside and did not turn around to ask the Camp Facilitator my question, Ash would've joined a completely different camp group.
"I need to pull Ash out of this camp" I thought to myself. I will have to suck it up and figure out what we will do for education and entertainment for the remaining two weeks of summer. But if I do this, it means that I will have confrontation the Parks and Recs director.
When I have to confront or address an issue or problem with someone, I become highly emotional. My words don't come out right. Sounds great in my head but out of my mouth it's completely different. I usually tear up or cry and shake out of sheer anxiousness. I didn't want Ash to be judged or blacklisted by my complaint to the office.
I needed to think about this. Take a moment to let it all process and not make a decision without talking to Grant about an action plan it first.
******
In the early afternoon I got an unexpected phone call from Ash. “Mommy, I want to come home. I don’t want to be here. My tummy hurts (code for I don’t want to be wherever I am at the moment). I want to come home, Mommy. Please come pick me up now.”
There is nothing more heart exploding than receiving an unexpected phone call from your little kid and hearing a quivering voice trying to hold back tears begging to go home.
My decision was made. I was gonna go down to the Parks & Recs office and pull him out for the remainder of camp.
What I learned
Know your child: Ash has been enrolled in social activities since he was 14 months old. We began with “Mommy and Me” co-op classes, then playing in the kid’s area at the gym while Grant and I trained, attending after-school clubs, and eventually progressed to all day camps where he was dropped off in the morning and picked up in the evening. Never ever asked to skip a class or called me to pick him up. That’s why it really stood out to me that Ash said he didn’t want to go to this camp anymore.
Document: Continue to document incidents no matter how small or trivial you think it might be. Again, this particular incident was a safety issue. Anyone could’ve been hiding in the bushes ready to snatch an unsuspecting kid and nobody would know.
Listen: Always listen to what your child has to say no matter how trivial it may sound. Your attention will determine what he or she chooses to share with you as they get older.