A Smile Can Make Someone’s Day
People enjoyed seeing her, because her smile would brighten up their day.
May 4, 2018 | 9:43 PM
A whimsical note to Ash.
Here’s an article from the archives written in May 2018. Enjoy!
What is something your mom or dad or loved one does that you also emulate? Maybe they always opened the door for an elder? Maybe they slipped you some candy when you were a kid and now you do that for the kids in your life?
For me, I remember my mom was always smiling at people. She did the “smile-eyes” thing way before Tyra Banks made it popular.
When I was a little girl, customers who knew of my mom would often tell me how nice and kind and thoughtful she was. People enjoyed seeing her, because her smile would brighten up their day. Even while she was moving 100 MPH behind a hot grill, stove burners, and a deep fryer in a space of six square feet, my mom always took the time to wave hello and smile at the customers.
It wasn’t just about customer service, that’s just how my mom was. My mom felt happy when she made others feel happy and acknowledged. A lot of people loved and appreciated her, because she emulated loving kindness and you’d feel it in her smile-eyes.
. . . . .
I was at the gym this morning for strength training. After fifteen minutes of stretching and warming up, I headed over to lift free weights and work on the machines. Today was upper body so I’d be doing bench presses, bicep curls, tricep pulldowns, and deltoid rows.
I was listening to a podcast while doing my set of bicep curls, when I noticed a woman trying to get my attention. She was a very fit older African-American woman, maybe in her fifties, who trained in this area regularly. Whenever we’ve seen each other at the gym, we would exchange smiles and acknowledge each other.
Woman: “Any plans for Mother’s Day?”
Me: “Taking my son to a birthday party. You?”
Woman: “Thinking of taking my mom to the spa for chocolate therapy. You get chocolate poured all over your body. It’s supposed to make your skin feel smooth and nice. Then they massage your body with oil.”
Me: “Sounds delicious. I’d probably just eat the chocolate.”
The woman paused for a moment and then said, “You know, I just need to give you a hug.”
A hug? Why? This was unusual. You can see I’m sweaty, right? Like my face is wet with sweat? You’re wet with your sweat. We’re both super sweaty and not in the sexy “I’m just sparkling” way hahaha!
Why anyone would want to sweaty-hug me, well, I have no idea. However, she seemed sincere, so we did the side shoulder-to-shoulder type of hug with pats on the back.
Woman: “I feel compelled to tell you that you’re the first person at this club to treat me with any kind of dignity. You smiled. You said hello. You’re the first person who actually acknowledged me and said hello.”
The look on my face must’ve been quizzical. I thought how odd it was that I would be the first person to say hello to her.
Me: “Really? I can’t be the first person. How long have you been coming here?”
She said she had been been going to our gym for about two months. And in those two months I was the first club member to acknowledge her with kindness and treat her with dignity. Dignity, such a heavy word and very poignant!
Me: “I’m Danni. What’s your name?”
Woman: “Well, people call me Dr. Beesh, but you can call me Janna.”
Me: “It’s very nice to meet you, Janna. Thank you for sharing this with me. It really brightens my day.”
Janna: “Thank you for being a kind person and treating me like a human being.”
Man, that’s pretty heavy. I’ve never had anyone use the words “human being” or “dignity” to describe how I treated them. It truly knocked me back. She’s been going to this gym for two months and I’m the first person to say hello to her?!?
I went back to my bicep curls and thought about what she said. So many questions began swarming in my head. Was she not being acknowledged by other club members because she’s a Black woman at a predominantly white gym? Did they think she didn’t belong there? Could there be a misunderstanding, because some people might be too focused on themselves to exchange pleasantries or take notice people around them? Maybe she looks super focused and determined when she’s working out and it deters people from wanting to interrupt her flow? Surely someone had acknowledged her and maybe she forgot?
I wanted to ask Janna those questions, but It would have been inappropriate to dive into those deep waters - we just met after all. However, I was sad and bewildered that she would be treated in such a disheartening way.
As I finished my workout and was walking out to do some cardio, I expressed my gratitude to Janna again for sharing her kind words. She could’ve kept it to herself, yet she chose to compliment me and brighten my day. It felt good to receive a most unexpected compliment!